Beneath the Rust
by Alma
Summary: This is the life he chose. It would always eat away at him, but at least it was the truth. Now Cloud must navigate the fallout of his rise to notoriety. CloTi. Sequel to "Like Metal in Water".
1. By the Sea

_\- By the Sea -_

* * *

It was a sunny late afternoon in Junon. Blue skies opened up over dark smooth rippling waves, and far below the sleek metal tiers, golden beaches stretched far in either direction along the shore. Junon could be a beautiful city at times.

A fresh breeze of warm air came in off the ocean through the open windows of the cafe. I sat at the table closest to the overlook, with nothing but the perfectly straight line of the horizon in my view. An exact balance of sky and sea, in varying shades of blue. The edges of the sky were tipping towards a pale drained color as the day waned. I remember telling you once that Junon had the most beautiful sunsets.

"So what do you think, boss?"

The voice to my left brought my eyes back to the interior of the cafe. Two associates sat with me, one at either side of the table. They'd been arguing about something, but I hadn't been paying attention.

Dax, the younger of the two, was the speaker who'd asked my opinion. He was a sharp, desperate man who'd been involved in this business for as long as I'd been, if not longer. You'd remember him, I think. He was there the night of your death. He was the one who'd arrived with the materia too late, who'd trembled and let it drop from his hand as if delivering it to the floor would relieve him of any further obligations to anyone anywhere. I'd let him live that night, and his loyalty had followed me fiercely ever since.

The other was Misha, the woman in charge of mako distribution in Wutai. She'd been running that side of the planet since my boss and I forced the suppliers' hand long ago. Everyone knew Wutai was the source of the best strains of mako production, and Misha controlled the trafficking at all points through the town. She was cruel, precise, and expressly under my control.

They both represented the best of what our organization does. Dax, the contract assassin, with twin daggers at his waist and a disarming smile on his mouth, and Misha, the mako dealer, with a sweet disposition and careful eyes. A knife in the dark and a healthy dose of temporary bliss. But their names aren't important. You don't need to know these people. They are all just part of a life I have now, one that explicitly doesn't contain you. One that you'd never be able to coexist with.

You'd hate all this, you really would.

"Wutai needs assistance," Misha said, leaning over the table, voice low, "This army that Godo Kisaragi is building has been steadily cracking down on mako users. This isn't something we can wait on!"

"Wutai isn't exactly our top concern," Dax countered, glaring at her, "And our boss will be the judge of who gets extra protection in the coming months."

Both turned towards me.

It's amazing how much had changed in so little time. Some days it feels like your death wasn't that long ago and others it feels like a lifetime away. Everything has changed. Even the people around me are completely different from the friends you and I had back in Edge. But change is good. People are allowed to evolve and grow, become whoever they are meant to be.

"So what do you think, boss?" Dax asked me, "You think we trust that Wutai can't handle this so-called problem on their own?

"The remilitarization should not be taken lightly," Misha warned, "I do have some resources, but boss, you need to see this for yourself. It's not what the papers are reporting."

I took a long sip of coffee from the mug in front of me. Then I nodded at her.

"Okay, I'll go to Wutai tonight," I agreed, "Take the last airship out."

Losing a region like Wutai was not an option, even if it was a false alarm. News of the WRO backing a remilitarization plan for the formerly disgraced town had been on my radar lately, but this was the first time I'd heard of his troops interfering directly with the mako trade.

Dax looked like he wanted to protest, but he didn't. Misha smiled and bowed her head slightly.

"Thank you, boss. I'll arrange for a meeting with the supplier tonight," she said.

Then she stood and departed. Dax leaned back and crossed his arms. The sun dipped lower in the sky, behind a batch of clouds.

"Sir, there is one more thing to report," Dax said after a moment, "The traitor who fled the last contract, the one who'd gone across the sea, has been returned. I brought him back myself."

There was a brief silence as I recalled the situation.

"Good," I replied, "Bring him to the lower tier."

"Yes, boss." He rose and headed for the door.

After he'd left, I took another sip of coffee and sighed.

Godo Kisaragi… a name that I was hoping to not ever really care about again. A dull pain marched down the side of my face over the scar tissue. It settled in my stomach. Strange. I've finally found my place in the world, and I have the power and control that I'd unknowingly longed for all my life, yet there remained an underlying sense of dread. I'd lost you, I'd lost Denzel, I had nothing left of my old life and friends. There was nothing left to lose. Yet still that fear persisted.

Losing what I have now would mean I was wrong. I'd heard a saying once that it's lonely at the top. I think I know why.

"More coffee?"

The waitress stood next to me with coffee pot in hand. I nodded and she re-filled my mug before scurrying away. Her eyes lingered on the scar on my face long enough. I'm sure she remembers me from when I was half-dead, bleeding out in the backroom of this place not so long ago. I'd been such a mess back then.

I savored the rest of my coffee and noticed the dozens of colorful dots of umbrellas far down on the beach below. There was one particular bright green one, and it made me think of that glimmer of materia as it rolled across the floor through the blood at my feet the night of your death.

I still kept that restore, safely in my pocket, though I'd never used it. I don't know why it felt important to hold onto, as if a piece of you were still attached with it. If I'd only been a moment earlier… There was a lifetime branching off from it, a different version slipping right beneath this world, where you and I were still together. I'd saved you and maybe you'd have stayed in Junon with me.

Except I knew the truth. It would've never worked, and I think sometimes that the way things turned out was somehow the best conclusion of our relationship. It was better to leave the future open like that, to think that you could have reconciled with me, than to live with the certainty that you'd never accept the life I'd built in Junon. I could stop longing for you.

Your status now was immovable, a point of fine detail in my memory.

It was time to go. But as I about to stand, an older woman approached my table. She was tired with the cautious frightened look of a first-time customer.

"Are you…?" she asked waveringly.

I nodded and invited her to sit. She did so apprehensively.

Then the usual conversation took place. She wanted her ex-husband dead and knew this cafe was the place where such a request could take form. After payment had been secured and details of the target had been given, she passed a photo of the ex across the table then nodded curtly and walked out. The bell above the door of the cafe jingled as she departed fast.

Then a message came in on my phone. The associate in the basement was ready.

Outside, the Junon air was fresh and salty from the wind blowing in across the sea. The sun burned overhead and the streets were bustling with weekend tourists. I moved through the city undisturbed, quietly making my way towards the lower tier. A strange sense of paranoia gripped me like I was being followed, but I brushed it aside. I'd learned long ago to dismiss the eerie sensations that often crept up when I'd been thinking of you.

At last, the abandoned tenement in the lower tier came into view. The entire block was in the slums, which now infested the underbelly of the city as well as the outskirts. Junon was a beautiful city, but like all beautiful things, there was an equally ugly mirrored side to it, hidden away from the glistening promenades of the sleek upper tier.

This was all because of drugs provided a subtle shade of clarity and serenity, a way forward for many in the wake of Meteor. But they were highly addictive with the occasional violent side effect. People like my old boss were able to rise to power by controlling the distribution of a drug eventually everyone wanted.

And the name 'mako' only came from one side effect of the drug. A dim luminescence shone in the user's eyes, a very strong resemblance to actual Mako saturation. But Soldiers were a thing of the past and the word 'mako' now only meant escape, tranquility, focus, not energy or ShinRa or materia. It was nice for me, as an interesting byproduct, to fade away within the public eye, no longer a troubling reminder of ShinRa's dark legacy of super soldiers and human experimentation. Nobody questioned the shine in my eyes because I might as well be an addict.

Of course, I wasn't. Not anymore.

Inside the dilapidated building, I went down into the concrete windowless basement, and there I found the source of pain from the last month. One of my old associates, beaten and bound, knelt in the center of the moldy, crumbling floor beneath a single naked bulb. His face was covered in sweat, one eye nearly swollen shut, and he noticed my presence with an almost giddy yelp.

"Boss!"

Like I was the best thing in the world.

"Boss, please…!"

He stumbled forward, falling to his hands and knees in pitiful prostration. Dax and another associate stood to either side, watching carefully in silence.

"I-I-I told them it was a misunderstanding!" he sputtered, "I told them I was sorry!"

I slowly unsheathed the sword from my back. His eyes went wide at the sight of the weapon. His lip trembled.

"No, boss, please! I...It was… I just-"

"You're lucky," I finally spoke, taking a step to the side, "Jude would've tortured you first. For hours."

At the mention of my old boss's name, the man stiffened and the slight semblance of hope in his face vanished like a snuffed candle. For a flicker of a second, his eyes went to the scar on my face. A long deep line that ran from around my eye down my cheek. Proof that I'd been the only person to survive Jude's psychopathic tendencies.

His eyes went back to mine, desperately. He tried to stand.

"Wait, wait a minute!" he begged.

The swords moved apart fast in my hands as I extracted a smaller blade from the nested hilt and slashed the man across his stomach. Blood dribbled off the edge, and he screamed. A cold harsh sound of defeat. He fell to the floor, bound arms pressing against his stomach as red poured from the gash.

I waited until his whimpers diminished. This was the exquisite part where he realized there was no way out. It shone across his face in a pale spread of horror.

"There's no easy way to say this," I went on after he quieted down, "And I wish I didn't need to get involved here. I rarely get directly involved like this, you see. But you've purposefully evaded a contract that you were assigned. Your actions nearly exposed our supplier in Wutai and you killed a fellow associate."

The moment I'd said those words, his eyes revealed sudden total understanding. He must've thought I didn't know about the dead associate. He must've thought I'd been upset about him skipping out on a contract and hiding out in Wutai, but no, that wasn't grounds for death. Killing a fellow associate, however, was. And he knew it.

He was frozen, unfocused, watching something far away in his mind.

"You understand it's like this for a reason, right?" I continued nevertheless, "If I didn't kill you then there'd be no order. There'd be no reason for anyone to follow any rules. We can't have that."

I stood directly in front of his path of vision, forcing him to look at me. A bleary sunken expression dominated his face and he swallowed hard. This was the end, and it was culminating in a perfect single moment in his mind of acceptance and peace. The knowledge of no way out meant no more need to fight. His guilt had taken him over.

"Can't be entirely without merit," I told him, "We need to maintain structure. All of us do."

His eyes met mine one last time, and he nodded, scarcely fighting off the shivers threatening his body. A few incoherent words trailed from him, then the swords moved swift in my hands. A precise arc sliced open his throat and chest, dousing his shirt in dark red and he fell, gurgling, into a puddle on the floor.

Perfect elation breathed over me in a calm immaculate sensation synchronized to the death in front of me. Blood spread outward, following the cracks in the floor. Dax twirled one of his daggers in his hand.

"What a waste," I said after the moment had passed. When it was all said and done, it was just a cold empty husk left behind.

"A waste of your time, sir. I understand," Dax spoke up gravely.

"Forget it," I replied, "Just tell Wutai it's been handled."

"Yes, sir."

I never found out why the guy had initially fled his contract. The assassin who later completed the job reported that the target was a woman who'd claimed to know the man who'd originally been sent to kill her, and I was glad I hadn't personally followed up on that one. It would've reminded me of you and me, long ago. Our fateful reunion.

Since the later part of my evening was going to be consumed by whatever troubles awaited me in Wutai, I went back to my apartment to finish up some work first. In the dim orange glow of sunset, I sat on the couch with paperwork spread around me.

There were contracts to be assigned and completed assassinations to be relayed to customers. I wasn't necessarily good at this part of the job, but it was a task someone had to do and I generally knew best the skills and limitations of most assassins in our network. The ex-husband that the older woman in the cafe had requested earlier would be an easy job, and I sent the details to an associate.

As I perused a small pile of finished contracts, I got to one black and white photo of a woman with long dark hair. This was the one the dead guy in the basement had been assigned and lost his life over. I wondered what exactly had transpired in his head the second he'd seen her picture.

Nevermind. I downed a mako pill and resumed my work in the other room, leafing through contracts and photos. Then the words began blurring together. I had to go back and review a couple to find my place again.

It was suddenly hard to focus, and thoughts of you kept swimming up in my head, unwanted. Sometimes it just took longer for the effects to take hold. I waited, breathing out. Sometimes nothing felt real, like a recurring dream or a series of dreams that progress chronologically, outside of the normal flow of life. Like another world existed on top of this one, all around me, invisible yet absolute.

I doubled back through the papers and found the one the dead man had spurned. The lovely woman with long dark hair.

There'd been a different time that branched off from this one and maybe that's where you existed now. Somewhere out of reach, yet you clung to my skin and clothes like smoke. I knew if I could only turn around fast enough in my dreams, in that other place, that I'd see you standing there and I could finally hear your voice one more time.

It made me feel sick. I pushed the contracts aside. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome, but chasing you nonetheless. Undoubtedly, this was insanity. And I felt it creeping closer. Consuming me.

No, I caught myself before the surreality lapsed on top of me. No, I wasn't asleep, and those dreams were irrelevant anyway. The materia. I held it out in my palm. A tiny orb of unblemished green. Yes, I still had this, and I could feel the drugs finally starting to work. A veil of induced tranquility pulled itself over me. I waited with my eyes closed until the sensation fully eclipsed the anxiety rummaging in my veins.

Then it was gone. I exhaled.

The contracts were strewn about on the floor, and I picked them up, sorting them appropriately as I went. Yes, each night I remembered you. I'd never stop. But I no longer needed you. I had my work and control and power that you would have never let me keep.

The night went on and I pushed you aside, finishing up the contracts then I headed out towards the airships. No matter what, I kept you close to me. I always would.

I miss you, but it's an echo of longing, not the true sense of the word. I miss you because I know you can never come back.


	2. The Leviathan

_\- The Leviathan -_

* * *

Someone once told me Junon was a city filled with shadows. If there was any truth in that, I'd think it was Wutai casting them.

The once disgraced town across the sea was the prime source for the purest strain of mako in the world. Nobody knew how they'd achieved it, and according to some rumors, the narcotic was originally conceived by an ex-ShinRa scientist who'd retired to Wutai after Meteor. Despite imitation pills popping up in other towns, Wutai maintained its stranglehold on trafficking. This was mostly due to the groundwork my boss had presumably laid before I'd taken over and bridged their relationship between with Junon. Now all mako had, at one point, most likely originated from Wutai.

The airship touched down after midnight, and Dax and I descended into the tangled mess of streets that had been rebuilt and rearranged as the town had grown rapidly during the last few years. I'd brought him along as a precaution since I'd heard Wutai was recently undergoing a type of military resurgence.

Godo Kisaragi, global news claimed, had evidently received the WRO's blessing to remilitarize. I didn't care much about that, except that the WRO was feeling more like ShinRa with each passing move of expanding control. I didn't think it could possibly concern my supplier or me, but from the moment we touched down, the city felt different.

The residual feeling of motion sickness in my stomach was starting to dissipate, and I stopped at the corner of one clean and well-lit street, examining the strange vacancy. Dax must've noticed, too.

"Hmm, something is amiss here," he remarked into the quiet air.

Wutai was not exactly a party town, but it was no longer a sleepy tourist village either. I'd expected to see at least a few drunks stumbling home or maybe a junkie or two, but there was nothing. Nobody.

Cautiously, we progressed through the town. We'd gone roughly four blocks before we saw them.

A small group of men wearing all black moved slowly along an avenue, carrying military-grade rifles, older models from the kind the WRO uses. They were silent, menacing, and a dark blue leviathan patch was the only marking to be seen on their uniforms. These had to be Godo's new troops.

We hung back in the shadows of a nearby storefront, waiting for them to pass. At two more crossroads, we saw similar teams but no citizens. Nothing but silence. This was bad.

It took a while to reach the supplier's requested meeting spot, but I didn't want to confront the shiny new soldiers just yet. There was nothing I knew about them, and so that put me at a disadvantage. But the time we got to the designated alleyway, it was nearly one a.m. At the far end was a single exterior storage room, blended into the disarray of the crumbling facade of its parent building.

The supplier had specifically requested this place, but it looked like a dump to me.

"Took you long enough." The supplier emerged from a darkened corner the moment we entered. Long dark hair in a tight bun, she faced me with the deep shine of mako in her eyes. "You had me worried," she said, "I hate being worried."

"Nice to see you, too," Dax replied curtly.

She glared at him then turned back to me. "Did anyone see you?"

"No," I said, "but the troops outside are… alarming. What's going on tonight? Why did you need me here so soon?"

The supplier paused for a second, as if unsure how to start, then, "The leviathan himself has declared mako an illegal substance, vowing to purge it from Wutai's streets, starting with a sweep tonight. That's why I called you. This couldn't wait for escalation."

The news took me aback. "Illegal? On what grounds? And the WRO supports this?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, but Godo believes the violence in the city is linked with mako, and as a show of force, I suppose, he wants to eliminate it."

I exhaled. This was definitely a big problem.

"But," the supplier continued with a creeping smile, "I've taken one certain preemptive measure. A special gift for you, to show my loyalty and ability, and also to Godo, to show how deadly our repercussions can be."

"A gift for Godo?" I repeated hesitantly. The way she'd said it made my skin crawl.

"We can cut off the leviathan's head before it even knows we are armed." She grinned darkly.

"What… do you mean?" I finally asked.

Still smiling, she stepped aside and pulled away a thin fraying rug at her feet. Beneath was a trapdoor which she opened into unevenly cut stone stairs leading into darkness.

"There's a reason I asked you to meet me here tonight, boss." Then she stood aside, motioning for me enter the basement.

"Stay here," I instructed Dax. I just couldn't shake the stifling hesitation in my chest.

Below, the stairs opened into a much larger space filled with decaying wooden crates to either side of an aisle leading straight towards the back. A string of lights tacked onto the ceiling led the way to a dead end where two figures stood with arms folded. As I approached, I could see more clearly that they were both associates, ones I recognized as being stationed in Wutai, and they were guarding three prisoners restrained to the walls on old metal hooks.

One of the captives was dead, slumped over, hanging lifelessly, with blood covering his torso. The next was barely in better condition, still breathing. He wouldn't last very long. And the third…

My heart caught in my chest, and everything moved in slow awful motion.

The third was Yuffie. Gagged and limp, with bruising around her throat and long streaks of blood dripping from cuts all over her body, she was definitely in the best condition of the three. Then it struck me. The gift to Godo was to be his own daughter, dead and delivered to him with these other two men, both of whom, now that I looked closer, wore the same black uniforms as the men on the streets, leviathan patch and all.

A sensation like weightlessness gripped me, flooding my veins like ice water. I was falling away.

"Boss," one of the associates greeted me, "They are all yours. We had to gag this one because she wouldn't shut-up, but feel free to have whatever fun you please." He gave me a wink like I should be happy with all of this.

And I should be happy, right? If Godo was causing trouble for my supplier, and if this was one quick and dirty way to send a very explicit message, then I should be satisfied that most of the work was already done for me. All I had to do was deliver the final cut and order them to drop the dead bodies on Godo's palace steps. Easy as that. But the world was spinning. I had to make a decision.

"Kill them," I said, pushing the thoughts into words before any other option could coalesce from the whirlwind in my head.

At the sound of my voice, Yuffie's eyes popped open and she looked up at me, two dark spots peering through a mess of short black hair. Her cheeks were streaked with sweat and dirt and maybe also tears, but she made no sound. No movement. It was like she didn't recognize me at all.

The associate next to me withdrew his katana and cleanly severed the neck of Yuffie's companion. A stream of red gushed down his chest and a few droplets from the edge of the blade flecked onto Yuffie's face. She began screaming. As the man next to her died, her body seemed to go into panic overload. Despite the gag around her mouth, her muffled cries were loud, pure terror. Endless and absolute. I knew the type. She thought she was about to die. I'd never actually seen her so frightened, and something about it struck me hard. Then her eyes went back to me, and everything changed. The whirlwind stopped.

I saw her in the center of it all, scared and alone, a place I'd never known her to be. She'd been reduced from the proud, haughty ninja to a crying, pathetic creature. In the face of death most everyone was, but the way she looked at me struck me hard. She was begging me, pleading with me in a desperation beyond words to help her.

It wasn't empathy that I felt, but a stark realization that she had once been connected to you and to my past life punctured through the uncertain shaky world like a beam of brilliant stable light. It shone right on her, a spotlight in the storm, and I couldn't look away.

"Stop," I said, quietly, and the associate instantly lowered his weapon from Yuffie's neck. "Change of plans. Leave her to me."

"Yes, boss." He nodded solemnly, then motioned for the other associate to bring the two dead upstairs. "Let us know when you're ready, and we'll deliver the three corpses to the palace."

"This is his daughter," I stated, as if it was plain to see how much more valuable she was alive, "Give him the two dead men as a warning." I spotted Yuffie's weapon down against the wall and picked it up, then handed it over. "And this. Along with a message. If he refuses to give up his crusade against mako, we deliver his daughter to him. Piece by piece."

The associate took her weapon, but looked confused. "But, I thought we were going to kill her. Won't that make him stop?"

"No, the fear of losing something you love is stronger than most anything," I replied, resting my eyes on Yuffie's weapon. Tied in the center, at the base, was still that single frayed pink ribbon. "Godo will do as we ask if we use his daughter as a tool, first. Killing her will only give him nothing to lose."

The associate thought about that for a moment, then nodded in quiet acceptance before dragging the two bodies upstairs.

After both associates had gone, I carefully reached forward and removed the gag from Yuffie's mouth. Instead of spouting off a tirade or cursing at me or spitting in my face, as I was expecting, she simply remained in absolute silence, straight back, eyes forward. The damage to her face and neck was worse than I initially thought, as I could see more of it now, and sweat accumulated all over her skin despite the chilly temperature around us.

"Yuffie, I-"

"Your voice…" she interrupted suddenly, nearly inaudible. Through cracked lips a crest of teeth shone in a smile, like she'd heard a bad joke. "Your voice is the same...but the rest of it… the rest is something else." She coughed, spitting up a dribble of blood, then exhaled with great effort.

"I just saved your life," I informed her, slightly annoyed, "And I think it's best if you-"

"I don't give a damn what you think," she seethed, "Your thugs just murdered two of my men, and now you're holding me as ransom against my father!" She spat on the floor. "I don't know what the hell happened to you, and I think I don't even want to know at this point. Fuck off, Cloud. Whatever you have to say isn't -"

I jolted forward, grabbing her by the throat, and shoved her against the wall hard. The restraints holding her arms above her head twisted against their metal anchor, and she gasped, stifling her stream of words into a choking halt. The way she'd said my name somehow set me off, and my reaction had been mostly involuntary. Then I realized I needed to be smart about my next few moves because killing her was not an option.

I released her throat, and she pulled away, sputtering and coughing.

"Let's… start again," I suggested, "This will all go much better for you if you cooperate."

She glared at me, catching her breath. "You fucking psychopath. Why the hell would I cooperate? Look at yourself! Do you even realize what you've become?" It was sadness that punctured her last few words, not anger or fear, and suddenly tears were filling her eyes.

"If that's how we're playing this," I said, indifferent to her suffering, "then for your sake, I hope your father responds much sooner."

I turned and began walking out. From behind me, I could hear Yuffie pulling against her restraints.

"Wait, wait!" she called out, "You can't just leave me here!"

I paused and glanced back at her. She hung from the wall, damaged, bleeding, dirty, and her fiery stare had softened to a muted plea. I had her right where I wanted her. Out of options.

"Sure, I can." Then I shrugged and continued walking away.

"...Fine, go!" she yelled, "Go on. I don't care. I can break out of here anyway. You can't hold me! Nothing can hold me!"

Her sudden boisterous spirit and arrogant tone was just an act, of course. I ascended the stone stairwell, back into the storage shed above. Yuffie kept shouting, but I ignored her and once the trapdoor was in place, it was impossible to hear anything more. Let her work out her frustrations. Once she realized she had no options, her cooperation would come naturally.

The supplier and Dax were both upstairs, as was a fresh smear of blood leading towards the outside, evidence of two bodies being dragged out as I had ordered.

"Smart thinking, boss," Dax said to me, "Using her to get what we want from her father. Much smarter than just killing her."

The supplier didn't look convinced. Her lips were a thin line, and she crossed her arms. "She's dangerous. We should just kill her to deliver a strong message and be done with it."

"I'm staying in Wutai," I decided, "at least until her father receives our message and bends to our demands, which I suspect won't take very long." I exhaled, trying to wrap my head around this plan. That uneasy whirlwind hadn't settled entirely, and it was difficult to concentrate. "Dax, go back to Junon. Keep an eye on business there. I'll be back in a few days, most likely."

"Yes, boss."

I'd stay in my apartment in town. I kept a studio near the outskirts of the west side, though I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually stayed there.

"Keep shifts of guards on her," I instructed the supplier, "I'll be back at dawn. And do not let her die. Give her food, water, whatever."

"Sure thing, boss."

With nothing more to say, I left the storage room.

The quietness outside felt magnified tenfold in comparison to the chaotic noise of the stone cellar. It was a welcome change at first, and I moved cautiously through the city, avoiding any militants I spotted, though there were far less as the night dwindled on. A subtle unnerving tension was growing within me, and I knew the fallout of this sudden meeting with Yuffie would be vast and troublesome.

Before long, I stood in my dusty sparse apartment, a tiny space above a shuttered materia shop, shivering in the cold and surveying the extent of my life as I'd last left it here. There wasn't much, and then I saw the glint of silver on the nightstand.

It was the ring, the one I'd given to you long ago, before I'd gotten sick. Back when we thought we still stood a chance. I'd left it here, I remembered, in Wutai because this was when I was still trying to forget you and move on after you'd refused me. I didn't want the ring with me in Junon, but I didn't have the heart to get rid of the item entirely. I kept thinking maybe one day I'd be able to give it back to you. Of course, I never did and so there it lay. Completely forgotten until now.

I picked up the ring. The recesses of the etched wolf were dusty, and I rubbed some of the tarnish on the sides off. It was still on a long silver chain, the one you'd worn for at least part of our relationship. For some reason I couldn't recall exactly when you'd given this back to me, and that bothered me immensely. One fear I had was forgetting certain things about you and about our life together. I kept thinking the farther from your death I got, the harder it would be to remember but instead it was like that one night was in sharp clarity while everything else, previously catalogued as irrelevant, faded away, unable to stand up to the shocking brightness of my memories of you covered in blood, and me standing near the ocean outside Junon, freezing in the cold under a starry sky. It was like nothing else mattered in my brain anymore and picking out that exact memory of you…

But I stopped and focused and dismissed the row of thoughts. Then I pocketed the ring before any further disturbances surfaced. The metal loop fit perfectly around the restore materia. My two little pieces of you. Then I tried to get some sleep.


	3. The Taste of Chemicals

_\- The Taste of Chemicals -_

* * *

I hardly slept at all, and by the time the faint dawn light crept around the window shades, I simply gave up trying and instead showered and dressed, then made my way back out towards that storage shed. The masked militants from the previous night were gone, and I grabbed a coffee on the way, moving alongside a smattering of early morning commuters as they rushed down the sidewalks. Nobody paid me any attention, though I did make sure to take my first mako of the day before leaving the apartment. Blending in was crucial, and that meant adhering to these new local "laws".

The shed in the daylight seemed far more dilapidated and sinister. There was no darkness to hide the immense state of disrepair. I was surprised the whole thing hadn't collapsed already or been torn down. Within, the blood stains on the floor were mostly cleaned away and a different associate stood over the trapdoor. He greeted me and instantly moved away, allowing me access.

Down I went, back into the depths of all the trouble in Wutai. Except Yuffie was still hanging from the back wall, still bloody and now unconscious. Fleeting terror gripped me tight as I thought she was actually dead, but once I noticed her breathing I relaxed. And anger set in. They were supposed to keep her comfortable. Food, water, whatever. Those had been my specific requests and clearly none of that had happened.

"Yuffie…" I called to her but there was no response.

This was not how things were supposed to go. Unhappily, I moved next to her and gently wrapped one arm around her waist, supporting her weight, then I lifted her up until the restraints cleared the top of deep metal hook. She was so much thinner than I remembered. Lighter too. I placed her down against the base of the wall with her bound hands in her lap and her head sagging to one side. A sticky dark smear of blood had imprinted against my fresh shirt from her, and I sighed regrettably.

There wasn't much I could do about my clothing, but I could at least stop her bleeding. Withdrawing the restore materia from my pocket, I held it tight in my palm and activated it. The pull of materia always felt the same, within me the real Mako infused seemed to brighten or pulse, like a heartbeat. A single rhythm in sync with my casting. And a brilliant arc of deep green illuminated the air in a dusty trail around her body, sealing the wounds and healing the bruises.

But something went wrong.

When the spell completed, an awful nausea kicked back into my stomach, igniting upwards like lightning through my spine. Hot pain spread from the base of my skull, and the taste of chemicals burned into my mouth. I doubled over, completely unprepared for such a reaction. It didn't make sense. I'd used materia countless times in the past without issue. I stared down at the little orb, and it dawned on me that this was your materia. The one meant for you. My piece of light. Maybe I couldn't use it. Maybe I had no right to be using it and it was punishing me. Refusing my utility of it.

Then it was gone. The sensation disappeared, and I straightened hesitantly.

"What the hell…" I breathed out. Everything was fine. Back to normal.

Yuffie suddenly snapped to life. With a gasp, she jolted awake and bounced to her feet, pressing back against the wall, hands raised together in defense.

"Relax," I raised my hands to show her I meant no harm, "It's just me. Nobody else."

"Why are you here? What are you doing with that?" she spat sourly, noticing the materia in my hand. Then she realized her physical state had been repaired and nodded briskly at me. "Aha, I see. Trying to prove you aren't an awful human being, after all?"

I wanted to say something witty or clever, but nothing came to mind.

"So is this the part where you say you're sorry?" she asked maliciously, "Because you should be."

I ignored her. She was fine now, wouldn't bleed out, so I just had to make a phone call to make sure someone brought her basic necessities to keep her alive while her father, hopefully, made a quick decision about his daughter's life. I hadn't really thought of how to handle the possibility that Godo would call my bluff and then I'd be forced to make good on my threat. Her life shouldn't have mattered to me. I'd moved beyond valuing any certain individuals above others, and logically I knew that Godo's military would adversely affect far more lives if they were able to disrupt the mako supply. Yet somehow the idea of dismembering her made me feel sick.

"Someone will bring you food and water and whatever else you need to be comfortable. A change of clothing, I imagine. But you'll stay down here until we hear from Godo, which I suspect will be very soon," I said to her, then I turned and headed back towards the stairs.

She ran up to me and grabbed my arm with her bound hands. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, that's it?"

I paused and faced her. Frantic brown eyes searched mine.

"That's all you have to say to me?" She sounded hurt, no longer vicious, and her hands gripped me tightly, pulled me towards her. She didn't want me to go. There was so much unsaid between us, and I knew it, but I didn't have the strength to discuss anything with her. It was just too much.

I peeled her fingers off my arms. "I'll ensure you aren't harmed again," I added, and resumed departing.

She stood there, in the center of the aisles of broken decaying boxes, under the harsh yellow wired bulbs tacked into the ceiling, and watched me. Even after she'd been healed, she was still a sorry sight, with big dark eyes and an expression like I'd just crushed her world. I knew it was an act.

Just as I reached the stairwell, she called out to me one last time.

"Is this why Tifa asked you to leave?"

I'm sure she felt brave saying it, expecting some cataclysmic reaction from me at the mention of your name, but truthfully it did nothing. I kept you around me all the time. Nothing could trigger you more or less, and so I kept walking.

"She asked you to go because she saw this in you, didn't she?" Yuffie went on, more in curiosity than spite, "She must've seen it all right there, bubbling under the surface. It must've not been that far down for you to fall this quick without her."

I didn't give her the pleasure of a response. It would've only opened up more doors to conversation and there was no point in that. Reaching the trapdoor, I emerged once more into the daylight realm and locked the door shut beneath me.

Then I got on my phone. The supplier picked up on the second ring.

"I thought I made myself very clear," I enunciated, "She was to be kept in good health until we heard from Godo."

"Apologies, boss," the supplier said in her usual quiet voice, "I had asked an associate last night who was supposed to take care of it."

"I don't care. Just get it done."

"Yes, sir."

I hung up. The associate guarding the trapdoor was staring at me.

"Make sure she doesn't go anywhere." I pointed down towards the cellar.

"Of course, boss."

I exhaled in an attempt to settle my anger. I wished I could just go back to Junon, but now it seemed I really couldn't leave Yuffie unattended for more than a few hours so I'd have to stay in the city until at least she was returned to her father and this whole mess could be behind us.

In the meantime, I wanted more intel on the masked militants. I zipped-up my jacket to cover her blood on my shirt then went back out into the street.

The morning sky was ebbing from a pasty white to a creamy blue as I walked into the more lively commercial district. Tourism remained a top lure of Wutai, given the majesty of the nearby mountains and historic carved statues, but once mako production picked up its pace, wealthy dealers and suppliers suddenly had money to burn, and many more businesses moved in.

The troops with the military-grade rifles were not to be found in the daylight, but there were several uniformed men with oversized shurikens on their backs milling throughout town, each with that same leviathan patch on their arms. Godo either had a daytime version of his nightmare squad or he was already taking our threat seriously.

Choosing a busy cafe near the central square, I sat at a corner table sipping coffee and eating breakfast, listening and watching everyone around me. The best way to get information and read the pulse of a place was through observation and rumors. I'd picked up a local newspaper to idly leaf through during my reconnaissance, and the headlines failed to mention anything of interest. Not even mako or the new military, which I found surprising.

The transient nature of the patrons kept the nearest tables fresh with new conversations every fifteen minutes or so, but I'd been in the cafe about two hours and on my third cup of coffee before I heard anything good.

"His daughter's been kidnapped, didn't you hear?" a women spoke in excitement to the man beside her.

"No, she's just run off," the man replied, "Her heart's never been in Wutai, you know that. She leaves whenever she fancies."

"Well, I heard this time it wasn't just some prank she's pulling on him. This time she's really gotten into some trouble."

"Doubt it. Probably has to do with that new division he's put together. He put her in charge of it, and now she's disappeared! I'm telling you, she just doesn't want the responsibility. Never has. Never will."

So Yuffie was in command of the new troops, which made sense given the relationship with the WRO. And it put me in a worst position knowing that she'd probably also been involved with the explicit decision to outlaw mako or at least to begin culling the streets of junkies. My supplier had been right to take Yuffie out of the equation fast. She was more involved and seemingly more dangerous than I thought.

Time passed and soon it was early afternoon. I switched to a new cafe, down a couple blocks and around the next avenue, and sat again listening. People spoke of the militants and mentioned mako many times, it seemed Wutai was still a hotbed of addicts, but nothing I didn't already know came up. I absentmindedly toyed with the silver ring in my pocket.

Another hour went by and I decided to check in on Yuffie again, make sure she at least was given something to eat. When I reached the same little half-collapsing storage room, the door hung open. A bad sign.

Rushing in, I discovered two associates lying on the floor. One had been disemboweled and lay in a pool of his own blood. The other was nearly dead, breathing shallowly, with a deep thin slice just under his throat, barely missing its lethal mark. He was missing his weapon, which meant it had been forcibly removed then used against him. Adrenaline pumped through me.

The trapdoor was open. I dashed downstairs, but it was much too late. The basement was empty. Yuffie was gone.

"Shit!" I slammed my fist against the wall then rushed back to the dying man. Kneeling next to him, I tried my best to get his focus. "Tell me what happened," I implored, "When did she escape?"

He muttered a few useless words then seemed to finally notice me. "B-b-boss… She was...strong. She'd...recovered somehow. I-I-I didn't...There was…"

"When?"

He sputtered incoherently, then said nothing more. His head dropped and he was gone. The silence that followed was unbearable. And suddenly I had a very big problem on my hands. Not only was Yuffie no longer in my control, but I'd specifically threatened her father with her death, which meant he would surely retaliate now that she was safe, using this as ammunition in his fight against mako, and worst of all, she was able to escape because of me. I'd healed her. The two dead associates were a direct result of that. I couldn't get around that.

I called the supplier and explained everything to her. She wasn't happy of course, but she didn't outright say that my plan had failed and that I'd underestimated our prisoner.

"Lay low for a little bit," I told her, "Things are likely going to run hot for a while so move production out of Wutai. Go to North Corel. Come to Junon if you can."

"What you ask is impossible," she said, barely concealing her disgust, "It's a delicate process that cannot just be up and moved at a whim. Sir."

"Fine, then stay here," I replied in frustration, "But lay low. I can't lose anyone else right now."

There was a long pause. She wasn't happy with this tactic. "...Yes, boss."

"I'm going back to Junon for now, but I'll contact you again soon."

"Yes, boss."

I hung up and sighed. I had to get out of the city. Now that Yuffie was free and she knew I was involved, it was no longer safe for me. Though I suspected that Yuffie herself would never truly hurt me, otherwise she would've tried to escape the moment I'd patched her up, fighting me instead of my men, I wasn't so sure about her father or anyone else involved.

A part of me wanted to strike back hard and fast, go directly to his palace and show him exactly who he was fucking with, but then I'd have to face Yuffie and once again the idea of hurting her just didn't sit right with me. No, I needed to reassess.

I made one more call for a clean-up, then booked the next airship home.


	4. Overdose

_\- Overdose -_

* * *

I was back in Junon by nightfall, and the city was trudging on as usual, entirely undisturbed by the events that had transpired in Wutai. The comforting aura of anonymity slipped over me once I rejoined the city's overcrowded populace, yet my mind would not relax. Godo's military would escalate and affect the mako trade. It was only a matter of time, especially if Yuffie was involved. And if the WRO was seriously using something as innocuous as mako to justify expansion of a global army, then we were all in much more trouble than we thought. It would be like ShinRa all over again, I knew it.

But the situation in Wutai had only proven something even more fatal - that my inability to properly handle the abrupt introduction of an element of my former life meant I was still attached to it. I don't know why I'd desperately wanted to protect Yuffie. Part of me was actually relieved that she'd escaped because it took away the responsibility of deciding whether she lived or died and for how long we would play the waiting game with Godo before delivering peeled-off pieces of her as promised. I truly didn't want a damn thing to happen to her, and that's what made everything fall out of my control. Just as my life in Junon had slowly consumed me, growing from the illusion of a choice into a critical part of me that had really always been there, so too did certain aspects of my past life fail to release me despite my best intentions, and it began to occur to me that I had been wrong. I'd been wrong about this version of me being all of who I am.

But none of that mattered. I had to keep my head straight. The reality was that I needed to protect the mako trade in Wutai, and that meant cleaning up the unintentional mess I'd made of what should have been a very straight-forward job. Yet Yuffie paralyzed me. Every time I thought of a plan, I'd remember she'd inevitably be there, and since I couldn't control her or protect her, I wanted nothing to do with her. This wasn't just some silly task where she'd tag along and make witty remarks. She was at the very center of the issue, and I couldn't reason a way out.

Nearly two days had passed, and I still hadn't thought of a decent way to tackle the problem or respond to the supplier. A few reports came in from Wutai through associates on jobs out there, and nothing catastrophic had occured yet, but my underlying anxiety did not quiet down. Had this been one or two years ago, I would've been largely disinterested in the whole affair, but now the majority of money came in through mako deals, not execution contracts, and so there was simply more to lose. People depended on me.

"You should relax, boss! Don't worry about that shit across the sea. It'll all blow over, right?"

Dax was shooting up across from me. We were sitting in a booth of a bar downtown. A skinny blonde girl sat on his lap, nibbling on his ear as he cleared the needle then set it aside for her. Another perk of the job, I suppose. No shortage of junkies looking for a hit in exchange for… well, anything.

I felt like everyone knew I'd fucked up by changing the plans and letting Yuffie live. Paranoia, to be sure, but this type wasn't dampened by mako. I was dosing pretty heavy, about four or five deep, and still the deluge of hard fixed reality was not softening away beneath the usual blanket of induced serenity. Maybe the drugs were no longer affecting me as much as they used to. Dax leaned back, letting out a laugh as the blonde kissed down his neck, and a pang of jealousy for his careless disposition stabbed through me.

"Do you think it would be okay if my friend joined us?" the woman spoke up, smiling like a child and wrapping her arms around Dax's neck. I wanted to throw up. The sheer unimportance of all of this in the face of what was happening across the ocean floored me. Since when had I become so utterly occupied? I used to have fun, or try to. I guess when I really thought about it, I'd never been able to relax like everyone else.

"Sure, baby, sure," Dax nodded, filling another needle.

A knock on the door of the booth made me jump, and a young woman with short black hair entered, all smiles. The friend, evidently. I must've lost track of time.

"Oh, wow, so you're him, huh?" The newcomer was sitting next to me, pawing one hand on my chest. "You really carry this thing everywhere, huh?" She was holding the silver ring, though it seemed impossible that she could be referring to that. I'd been playing with it in my hands, and I immediately tore it away from her.

"I need to go," I said to Dax. The room was suffocating, and I was losing stability.

"Wait, boss!"

I stepped out into the hallway, into a haze of smoke and inebriated patrons. The walls pulsed with the low steady beat of music and conversation, and I pushed my way back downstairs. A particularly bad storm outside had kept anyone from leaving and welcomed more soaked refugees by the minute. People in sopping wet raincoats stood anxiously next to partygoers in cocktail attire at the bar, eager to order a drink or a dose or both. The whole place roared with energy and laughter, and for the first time in a long time the atmosphere made me think of you. It was probably that damn ring, too. I put the chain back in my pocket and finally reached the front entryway.

Sheets of rain poured over the awning, and I breathed out, standing at the top of the steps with the spray of wind and water all around me. The air was fresh and cold, a nice contrast to the stifling interior, but I still wasn't feeling better. A crack of lightning lit up the expanse of the avenue in front of me, reflecting off a thousand puddles in the concrete, and an infinity of shadows spawned all at once in the snapshot. The city was full of them. Endlessly. A kaleidoscopic rush of sudden dread gripped me cold, and I rushed home, uncertain as to why I was slipping out again.

It happened occasionally, though normally this much mako would clear just about anything out of my head. Tonight it just wasn't doing the trick, though. The storm howled and heightened as I made my way towards my apartment building. That entire section of the upper tier, however, was dark, not even the streetlamps or traffic lights were on, and the few pedestrians unlucky enough to be caught in the rain with me paused in dismay as well. Power losses weren't too uncommon. Since Mako energy was no longer being heavily used, cities like Junon and Edge, I'd heard, were experiencing brownouts more frequently. The storms here only made it slightly worse.

The locks on the building were all electronic, so I had to use my manual key in the maintenance entrance on the side then hike up the stairs all the way to the top floor to reach my apartment. Within, the rain splashed loudly against the windows and the low grumble of thunder echoed beneath the clouds. I took another pill and sat on my sofa, watching the storm though it was nothing but gray. I wondered if Wutai ever had weather like this.

Eventually I dozed off to the sound of the rain, curled on the couch, trying to settle my mind. I dreamt almost immediately of Yuffie. She was dead, a cold empty husk. I'd arrived in the stone basement too late, and she hung lifelessly on a hook, bleeding all over the ground. A faded pink ribbon was tied around her arm. There was someone else in the room, standing directly behind me. I'd heard them approach with wet squishy footsteps, but I refused to turn around. I didn't want them to see how upset I was that it was Yuffie who'd been killed. Then the smell of rot and salt water rose around me, overpowering, and I knew who was standing there. Of course it was you. You'd always be there, after all, just out of sight. Somehow that terrified me more than Yuffie's corpse, but I turned around anyways. I had to face you. Maybe this was the night I'd finally catch you.

A crack of thunder woke me, and I jolted upright, adrenaline tensing my muscles. The room was dark, silent. The power was still out. I exhaled, unable to successfully calm my rapid heartbeat, and in the next flash of lightning, the room lit up in cold bright blue and there, on the wood floor directly behind the couch, was a trail of wet footprints.

I stared down in disbelief. The trail was coming from my bedroom and not the front door, and furthermore it was smaller than my own bootprints. They were bare feet, and the final pair terminated just within arm's reach of me. I stood up and backed away until the glass of the windows was at my heels. A shock of fright gave way to that strange weightless feeling, and I wondered if I was still dreaming.

Then I got a hold of myself and concluded someone must truly be here, broken in since none of the electronic locks downstairs were properly secured anyways. Sword in hand, I searched the two rooms that comprised my apartment, scouring every possible corner of concealment using the light from the remaining charge on my phone.

There was nothing. Nobody else was in the apartment. Even the front door was still manually locked from the inside. And when I went back to the couch, the footprints were gone.

My phone suddenly rang in my hand, and I jumped, completely consumed with the bizarre event that had just occurred. I ignored the phone, eyes fixed on the exact spot the wet steps had been, but the caller persisted. I looked down finally and saw it was Dax, but more alarmingly I noticed the time. It was four hours later. I'd somehow slept through much of the storm.

"What?" I answered.

"Hey boss. You alright? Sound a little..."

"What is it?"

There was a brief pause. "Found a guy here, down in the lower tiers, looking for you."

"So?"

"Well, remember how I told you I saw someone spying on us a few days ago?"

I really didn't, and I worried I'd been lapsing again. Maybe this was something that had happened before we left for Wutai. "Yeah..."

"It's the same guy. He's back in Junon, and this time I got him for you."

"Right. Okay."

Another short silence. Then Dax said, "Uh, you wanna interrogate him? Y'know, make an example and all that?"

"Tonight?"

"He was looking for you, boss. Maybe he's spying for the WRO."

"Sure. Yeah, the WRO…" I scrambled to wrap my head around it, "Fine. Bring him to the usual place on the lower tier. I'll be there soon."

Normally, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't get this involved, but if Dax was right about someone from the WRO snooping around our business, then this had to be handled promptly. Not only that, but an eerie sensation still clung like static to the air around me, and I'd didn't necessarily want to hang around my apartment any longer anyways.

The storm was settling down, no longer pelting the window nonstop, and I left the apartment. Just as I got outside, the power surged back on, and a row of street lights illuminated simultaneously, beckoning a path through the twisting rain, down towards the lower tier.

Yuffie was still in my head. I'd never contemplated seeing her again, let alone being on opposings side like this, and with the WRO involved, it felt even more strange than simply Yuffie alone. I'd been avoiding the WRO easily, since Reeve or whoever was in charge now mostly operated in Edge it seemed, and I hadn't been back to Edge since I took Denzel out of the bar after your death. But now the WRO was crawling around in Junon right on my doorstep and I couldn't look away.

Whoever this guy was, I'd have to kill him to send a message, especially since I'd failed to handle Yuffie properly in Wutai.

My destination, an abandoned tenement in the lower tier, appeared through the darkness ahead, partially lit by a stuttering lamppost. The rain completely stopped. I entered the building and headed up to the second floor where I knew Dax would be waiting.

My head was finally clearing from the fog of the last few days, and as I climbed the decaying carpeted stairs beneath the leaky ceiling, I decided that I already knew the best way out of my current dilemma. It had been the most obvious choice the whole time, and it was time I just accepted it and moved on. No more uncertainty or conflicts.

I'd simply kill Yuffie if she crossed my path again, and I'd kill her father too if he continued to interfere with mako production in Wutai. Simple as that.

"Hey boss."

Dax stood at the end of the hall, holding the unfortunate spy by the collar. The captive was barely standing, bloodied from a recent altercation, and a mass of dirty brown hair hung down over his face. There was no electricity in the building, but a row of windows facing the street allowed just enough light through from outside, and in the dingy yellowish glow from the streetlamps, there was something about the newcomer that troubled me. The shadows cast across him just...

"This is the spy, boss. The one I told you was watching us the other day."

He threw the person down at my feet as I approached, and the poor guy collapsed on the floor, motionless. I looked back at Dax, expecting an explanation for the captive's condition, but he merely grinned.

"We should interrogate him," Dax said eagerly. Then the person on the floor looked up.

And the world paused. Everything that I'd been actively dismissing over the past few days came soaring into the forefront of my mind hard and fast, and an awful sensation that somehow it was all connected surfaced instantly. It had to be connected. This was too big of a coincidence.

It was Denzel. The skinny, frightened boy that looked up at me under Dax's control was Denzel.

He was older slightly, and covered in mud and rain, and blood dribbled from a gash on his head, but it was him. I suddenly had trouble breathing. If I thought it was improbable Yuffie would ever come back into my life, I'd known it was impossible Denzel would. He'd left me. He'd specifically walked out with no intentions of reconciliation.

But there was something wrong with him. The deep shine of drugs was in his eyes, and he gazed up at me in petrification, as if he'd seen a ghost. No, this was just an accident. I could see in his eyes he'd never intended this to happen. Dax had done a number on his face. There was bruising and swelling and the kid could barely breathe. Was it possible he was actually working for the WRO? Spying or helping Yuffie out? It didn't seem...entirely crazy.

Dax was still grinning at me. He was expecting me to be happy about this. I didn't need to think about what to do for too long. This wasn't Yuffie and mako interference and a deal I'd made to keep our suppliers safe. This was a mixed-up kid in way over his head. The look on his face said it all.

"We don't hurt kids, Dax," I informed him, though he should've known that already. "Let him go."

"But, boss, this is the spy! Don't you wanna -"

"I said let him go."

Dax was not happy about this, but I truly had no choice. I was not about to bring Denzel into this world with me, and if he was dosing heavy, wandering around the lower tiers of Junon in the middle of the night, then I could probably bet that Dax had been wrong and that Denzel was not, in any way, a spy for the WRO. It just a strange coincidence.

As I turned and walked away, however, Denzel piped to life. "Wait...wait… Cloud…" a sad small voice croaked from his lips.

I kept going. The further away Denzel was from all of this, the better. He already knew what I was. No need for pretenses here.

Then there was a scuffle of commotion. Denzel was pulling away from Dax, calling out to me, "Cloud, wait! Please!" Then he fell into a soft cry, "Wait, please! Don't go!" And tears streaked down his face. They ran clear wet lines through the grime and blood on his cheeks, and my heart tightened. I had to stop. He sounded so terrified and desperate, and he needed my help.

"I'll handle this," I told Dax, "Leave him."

Dax smiled in relief then dropped the kid once more. Denzel fell with a thud, trying to hold eye contact with me. I motioned for Dax to go and he nodded then disappeared down the stairs. And I was alone with Denzel. The kid who'd walked out on me. The kid who'd said, more or less, that he never wanted to see me again. And I couldn't turn away.

I cut him free of the restraints, then held him up though it was soon clear he couldn't stand on his own. He leaned heavily against me, smiling weirdly up at me like he'd just heard great news, something he couldn't bear not to share.

"I found you," he said, eyelids fluttering, "I told Marlene I would…"

He was fading. Blood loss, most likely.

"Marlene?" I questioned, suddenly fearful, "Is she here, too?"

But he shook his head, slowly. Painfully. "No… No…" Then he smiled up at me again and let out a low chuckle. "I thought you might hurt me…"

Then he totally passed out. I caught him as he collapsed, and he curled up against me like a cut string. My heart sank. He said he thought I might hurt him. No matter what I'd become, and of course I knew how drastically things must've appeared to change from an outsider's perspective, I knew one single truth that remained in step with that piece of light in my pocket and that string of silver you used to wear — I would never ever allow anything to happen to Denzel.

Maybe he was a symbol of a life I'd tried to have and failed and so I felt obligated to protect him now, or maybe it was because I just couldn't stomach walking away from him when he looked like this. A junkie kid with his face a mess and his mind nonsense. He'd mentioned Marlene…

I carried him back to my apartment and rested him on the red sofa facing the windows. Of course, all trace of those wet footprints were gone, and the storm had long subsided. It was still the middle of the night, but I stayed awake, going through his backpack and trying to convince myself that Dax had been wrong.

The kid wasn't working with the WRO. It was impossible. All he had on him was a switchblade, less than fifteen gil, a near-empty bottle of water, and a cylinder with two mako pills, although after closer inspection I realized it wasn't the usual mako that I took. It was the hallucinogen commonly referred to as "lifestream". A nice safe little word that everyone knew. I guess people liked thinking they could visit their dead friends and relatives or whatnot.

Except Denzel had been on these… I looked over at him sleeping on the couch. Did he even really know that I had been standing there in front of him? He'd said my name but… Lifestream was notorious for affecting memory and sense of time. He'd likely be frightened when he woke up. I examined the deep gash on the side of his head. Not coagulating. In fact, he seemed to be running a fever. And his breaths kept changing pace like he was struggling to keep up.

None of it was good news. I held the restore materia in my hand, and before I could contemplate what had happened last time, the orb activated and the Mako within me reacted. It was nearly natural, a fluid jump from thought to action, and a string of green mist materialized, healing the bruising and bleeding.

Then, just as last time, the casting terminated with a fierce punch of nausea and hot scraping inside my rib cage. The pain was sudden, crippling. I actually fell to the floor, and the materia's hue danced in the light from the nearby lamp, a cruel sparkling laugh. Yes, it was true, I could see it now. This was never meant for me, and so I simply couldn't use it. It was making me sick.

Sick. I curled onto the floor and waited for the sensation to pass. It eventually subsided, but Denzel still didn't awaken. The gash on his head was healed, and his breathing was finally normal, so at the very least I knew he wouldn't die or sustain any further damage. I steadied myself against the window as I stood.

No, there was nothing else I could do for him. He'd need to sleep the rest of it off. After replacing the items in his backpack, except for the drugs because I couldn't fathom letting him stay on them if I could help it, I talked myself out of the possibility that Denzel was involved with Yuffie or the WRO. He was indeed looking for me, or so he said, but I couldn't trust that it hadn't just been part of his hallucinations.

No matter what, one thing was certain — he couldn't stay in Junon, not even for the slightest bit of time. The matter with Wutai was volatile and I was in a dangerous position, now even moreso. I had to protect Denzel from it. Taking him home to Edge was the only option. I'd wait for him to detox, make sure he was taken care of, then I'd bring him back. His reasons for seeking me out would have to remain irrelevant. For now.

I told myself these things as I tried to fall asleep. Lying in my bedroom, half-listening in case Denzel woke up in the next room over, I told myself things had to be this way. To keep him safe, he had to go. A piece of me did want to reconcile with him, of course, to at least talk about what had happened since he'd walked out on me, but the complications that arose from a myriad of variables in play if I did allow him to stay any longer than absolutely necessary were too risky. I was about to take another mako pill, then I couldn't remember how many I'd taken in recent hours, so I elected to simply lay in bed until everything became dark and I eventually fell asleep.

That night the corpse was in my dreams again. You, specifically. You stood right behind me. I could feel you, there in that persistent world. You were so close. The same scent of decay and salt water filled the air, but when I turned around, you were gone. Of course. And on the floor behind me was nothing but wet footprints. A trail of them, leading right up to me, and an imprint on my shirt near my shoulders. As if you'd had your arms around me.


End file.
